I spent Friday afternoon on the golf course with my eldest son. It was probably the first time he was on the course and didn’t hit a single ball but he did take tons of amazing shots, photos that is. It’s Senior portrait time and I couldn’t think of a better place to take his photos than on the golf course he grew up at. He was a great sport helping the photographer and me navigate the golf course and apologize to those actually golfing as we made the course our own personal photo shoot location.
As I watched my son flash his beautiful smile, I tried not to cry too much. It seems like only yesterday he nearly killed me during childbirth (I mean that literally). Now here he is, standing 6 foot 3 inches tall, smart, handsome, kind, and heading off to Villanova in the fall. It’s hard to believe and yet my youngest son is not that far behind him. Gone are the days of Pull-Ups and play dates. Gone are the days of babysitters and 6am skating lessons. My children are growing into young men before my eyes and in just a few short years, I’ll be an empty nester. Time is a thief.
I look forward to a home with less messes and getting my children off my payroll, but I fear the sadness I’ll feel when I don’t hear their laughter in the living room or them screaming “Mom!” when they need/want something. I’ll certainly miss our car rides together to golf tournaments, hockey games, and practices galore. I’ve heard that empty nest syndrome can also bring on feelings of distress, anxiety, depression, irritability, and loss of purpose when parents no longer have children to dote on. No thank you. I don’t intend to lose myself and fall into existential despair when my kids leave the nest. I played a big role in giving them wings and teaching them how to fly, after all. Though their taking flight will bring on some strong negative emotions, it will also be a time for rejoicing, too, as I will gain the bandwidth to reinvent myself and set myself up for the next chapter of my life, the chapter that I intend to make the best yet!
After focusing on raising my children for almost half my life, I will instead dedicate my newfound time and energy to pursuing dormant hobbies, exploring new interests, traveling freely, self-discovery, and personal growth. Life after kids doesn’t need to have a syndrome attached. It can be a happy season that contributes greatly to overall life satisfaction. It can be the beginning of something great, something even better, and I am hellbent on making it so,
Here are several ways I plan to embrace this upcoming chapter of my life sans kids at home. Perhaps you could greatly benefit from trying the same and wind up positively reinventing yourself as well:
- Discover new hobbies that could turn into passions. Maybe I could even audit a college course or finally tackle the years of family photos I never have time to organize.
- Make friends that complement this new and exciting time in my life. Other empty nesters will likely have a lot of shared experiences with me that would make for dynamic conversations.
- Create healthier habits. Less time playing taxi driver means more time to grocery shop sensibly, meal prep healthy lunches, plan healthy dinners, and work out more.
- Knock out my travel bucket list. I’ve always wanted to visit all the continents and there are several countries I’ve never seen before, too. I have a whole list of adventures I look forward to going on.
- Reconnect with my husband. We’ll have even more conversations that don’t revolve around children, college applications, and hockey.
- Or really, just decorate as we’ll be moving across the country to embark on this next empty nest chapter of our lives. Just as my fashion has changed over the years, so has my taste in furniture and décor. It will be fun to try new things around my new home.
- Learn a new language. It’s true what they say – if you don’t use it, you lose it. I took Spanish in high school but have not had nearly enough opportunities to use it so I’ve forgotten a lot of what I learned. I’d love to learn Spanish again and plan trips to destinations where I can put it into practice.
- Work more. I love coaching executives on how to become the CEO of their lives, not just their businesses. I also love facilitating meetings because I enjoy making sure sh!t gets done and am equipped to ensure results are achieved. Now, I’ll have more time to focus on my work and accept more opportunities that come my way.
- Fine-tune my retirement goals. I see a lot of conversations with my husband in our future, discussing the dreams we have for our retirement including how we want to spend our time and where we want to spend our time. We’ll break down the milestones we must achieve financially and what resources we’ll allocate to achieving our dreams.
- Indulge in self-care. I think I’ll finally be able to truly slow down and smell the roses. I’ll have more time for meditation, reading for pleasure, skin and hair care, massages, spa days, and to simply do as I please. It will be such a treat to focus on my well-being.
- Seek advice. Whenever I feel blue over my empty nest situation, I know I have a support system of friends I can lean on, women whose children have already flown the coop and they’ve figured out how to thrive and find fulfillment in their empty nest.
- Keep in touch with my kids. No matter how near or far my children are, I always think of them, dream of them, and worry about them. My heart truly took flight outside my chest the moment I gave birth and to feel whole, I will need to communicate with my kids often. Thank goodness for apps like FaceTime which enable video communication and seeing my boys’ facial expressions and gestures that showcase their awesome personalities.
What are some ways you intend to embrace the upcoming empty nest chapter of your life? Or, how have you been embracing it?
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