I love birthdays. Truly love them.
Birthdays are basically a socially acceptable permission slip to be a narcissist for one day. It’s your day. You get to do what you want, eat what you want, reflect on your life, and maybe even make slightly dramatic declarations about “the year ahead.” Honestly, what’s not to love?
This year was a big one. I turned 50.
Instead of throwing a party, I chose something that felt more meaningful: a few days away with my husband at Miraval Berkshires Resort and Spa. I went to classes, exercised, got massages, rested, and most importantly, had time to think – real think. The kind that only happens when you’re not rushing from one responsibility to the next.
Turning 50 felt like a natural moment to stop and ask myself a simple question:
How do I want to show up in this next chapter of my life?
For the better part of two decades, my answer would have been easy: get more done.
I’ve spent most of my life getting stuff done – going to college and then graduate school, building a career, having a family, managing the chaos that comes with kids, solving problems, supporting organizations, and holding a lot of moving pieces together at once. I wore my “overcommitted” status like a badge of honor. I was the woman who could handle it all. Productivity felt like purpose, and being capable and dependable became part of my identity.
And to be clear, I loved that season of my life. I even miss some of the craziness. But as I reflect back on it, I realize I have spent the last two decades putting everyone else first.
When my family needed more of me, I stepped back from the professional life I cared deeply about to be present for my family. It wasn’t part of a grand plan. It was simply what the moment required.
Now as I look forward, I am striving for more balance and reconnecting with hobbies, work, and people who energize me. I’m excited to pay attention to the parts of life that are easy to postpone: long conversations with friends, quiet mornings, creativity, travel, and simply being available to the people I love.
These days, I think about life less as a ladder to climb and more as something to tend, like a garden that needs attention in many places to truly thrive. Work is one important part of that garden, but so are family, friendships, personal growth, and joy.
Success looks different to me now. A full life isn’t built on one achievement or one role. It’s built on relationships, health, purpose, and the small moments that don’t show up on a résumé or calendar.
It looks like being present.
It looks like meaningful work that aligns with my values.
It looks like making time for the people who matter most.
And at 50, it looks like building a life that feels whole — not just looks impressive on paper.
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