It’s been awhile since I faced rejection but it recently showed up for an unpleasant visit. And it sucks just as much as I remember it sucking. I had applied to attend a women’s conference that’s right up my alley and finally fit conveniently on my calendar, all snuggled in between vacations and school field trips. I confirmed with my husband he could handle all the living and breathing things in our home and mustered up the courage to apply which took a lot of mental energy. I was excited to attend and proud of myself for putting my own personal development first. When I opened the thank you but no thank you email, I had to put my coffee down, refocus my eyes, and read it twice because I didn’t want it to be true. But there it was. Rejection. Staring straight back at me from my brightly lit computer screen.
I quickly moved through the grief cycle…
Shock: Wait, what?!
Denial: But how? I thought the application was so well-written. Perhaps they made a mistake. Likely not.
Anger: I hurriedly sent emails to the two women who sponsored me. They assured me it wasn’t me, it was the conference, and I’m awesome. I resumed drinking my coffee and swallowed a chill pill.
Depression & Detachment: No time for this one. I put on my big girl panties and got back to work.
Dialogue & Bargaining: I guess this is why I’m writing this. Because we live in a world that is all butterflies, glitter, and unicorns. We’re willing to share our successes (or our children’s) and even blast them all over social media because it makes us feel good and look impressive to the outside world. Rejection is not one of those shareable moments but it should be.
Acceptance: There’s no denying I wasn’t accepted. The rejection was made perfectly clear in some standard sans-script, black font on a glaring white background. Message received. Resuming my day and focusing my thoughts elsewhere helped the embarrassment and shame melt away before noon. It took a lot of courage for me to apply and I wasn’t going to let a copy-and-paste rejection email take that win away from me.
This final stage is when you thank the world for the growth opportunity your rejection presented. Rejection is never about you failing to be good enough. It’s about you being gifted another opportunity to learn how to be great, which begs me to question, why be ordinary when you can be extraordinary?
I took to my writing pad and crafted a new plan to apply to the conference next year.
