I knew better. Managing expectations is a recurring topic in the work I do. Imagine my disappointment when I completely dropped the ball managing expectations with my team. We’ve all felt disappointed upon the realization that our team isn’t on the same page, or even the same chapter! We assume we’re all rowing in the same direction until we realize we’re not and the frustration and disappointment set in. That was me this week in beautiful Hawaii, frustrated and disappointed.
I had planned the perfect Team Byrne family trip to Kauai for Spring Break, successfully checking the boxes for everyone in my clan.
- Room with a patio and great view for Momand Dad – perfect for my morning coffee!
- Golfing for Dad and Seamus
- Fishing and outdoor pursuits including sailing, snorkeling, kayaking, and more fishing for Padraig
- Shopping for Mom
We were all excited to “relax” (not that any of us know how to) and enjoy our time in Kauai. Overall, it was a fabulous trip. There was just one problem. I had failed to discuss expectations with my team before hopping on the plane. We landed in Kauai eager to do the activities we each wanted to do.
So, what happened? Unclear expectations had planted the seeds for disappointment. When we each didn’t get to do what we each wanted to the first day, the complaining began and it was relentless. Padraig’s expectation was I would spend the first and last two to three hours of my day fishing with him because the best fishing is done in the early morning or late evening. That is hardly how I envisioned relaxing on my vacation! Seamus’ expectation was he could spend practically every minute of every day playing golf. He gets VERY cranky when he’s not able to play. My expectation was we would enjoy meals together as a family at the very least. I also expected to enjoy shopping but with a bored nine year-old by my side asking, “Are we’re done yet?” every 30 seconds, it was far from the peaceful experience I envisioned.
By day five we finally figured it out. We all accepted there’s no “I” in “Team” and got in our groove. Pat and I took turns taking Padraig fishing. Seamus spent a few hours playing golf each day then reluctantly hung out with the family. Pat and I discovered the best way to enjoy the sunset was out on the patio with the doors shut so we couldn’t hear the boys fight over who’s better at NBA Live. Pat took the boys for a few hours so I could enjoy a bit of solo shopping. It wasn’t the half-day outing I had hoped for, but I still scored a few outfits and some much needed me time!
I make mistakes but I’m intentional about learning from them. Next family trip, you can be sure I’ll discuss the plan with Team Byrne in advance so we can all adjust our expectations accordingly and spend each night feeling grateful for whatever adventures transpired that day.
